Marvin’s Room (Shlohmo’s thru tha floor remix) – Drake by shlohmoA question I hear frequently asked about Toronto based Hiphop/RnB rapper/singer/child actor Drake in the press is why his new music is so depressing sounding and what does he have to be unhappy about? He’s young, rich and famous! He’s got a seemingly endless supply of adoring fans, pretty women, drugs, alcohol, money and a venue for his artistic expression to talk about his feelings. Hot97 is his psychotherapy couch.

When he sings:
‘Cups of the XO
Bitches in my old phone
I should call one and go home
I’ve been in this club too long
The woman that I would try
Is happy with a good guy

But I’ve been drinking so much
That I’ma call her anyway and say
“F-ck that nigga that you love so bad
I know you still think about the times we had”
I say “f-ck that nigga that you think you found
And since you picked up I know he’s not around”

(Are you drunk right now?)

I’m just sayin’, you could do better
Tell me have you heard that lately?
I’m just sayin’ you could do better
And I’ll start hatin’, only if you make me’

Drake strikes me as being honest here. Even though he has all of the above material and ego-enhancing things that many of us want, he is still not happy.  When artists are honest and speak about what’s really happening with them instead of repeating tropes that seem like the ‘industry standard’ (I’m balling! I’m awesome! I’m getting money!) it adds a richness of meaning, the texture of personal reality.  The current vogue for sipping XO (aka sizzurp, purple drank, or cough syrup made with promethazine and codeine) popularized by many rap/rnb artists including recently Drake and The Weeknd seems to support this pretty well. Codeine is an opiate, the same active ingredient found in heroin. It’s a central nervous system depressant that makes you sleepy and dulls pain when used when you’re sick. If consumed when you’re healthy it pushes pleasure buttons in your brain and feels great.   Taking codeine also kills you.  If you slow your central nervous system down enough you’ll just stop breathing. RIP DJ Screw and Pimp C. My question is: how much must you be suffering to make this glamourous lifestyle choice? Scientific research has pointed to links between the way we experience physical and psychic pain, like the pain of depression, including the fact that depression sufferers seem to have more acute physical pain.  As far as I can tell people who are happy and fulfilled don’t need to constantly take large amounts of central nervous system depressants like codeine and alcohol.

Where does this pain come from?  For many of us who are artists or musicians we, secretly or not, spend a certain amount of time thinking about why so-and-so got their name put above ours on a flier, or got a better review or record deal or  fee for their show or more views on YouTube. Why are they more loved than us? It feels unfair and can be demoralizing. This is because our feeling of self-worth is connected to our rapidly fluctuating ego. One moment we just had a great gig, review, bit of feedback from a fan and are flying. The next moment something goes badly or we notice someone else doing better and suddenly we are dissatisfied with our own success that seemed great a minute ago. I feel that whether they admit it or not many, many people who are perceived as successful suffer from these same feelings. In fact I think that many people who believe that material and ego success will make them happy, then achieve it and realize that they’re still not happy are actually in a tougher spot than those who are still striving.  If you are still trying to get there you can at least believe that once you get rich and famous you’ll leave your current unhappiness behind.  Once you get there and realize you are STILL unhappy and that a change in external factors isn’t going to solve it that must be pretty difficult to deal with. Elvis and Marilyn Monroe come to mind.

I recently read a book by the Dalai Lama called ‘How To Practice’ about ways to a meaningful and happy life.  For those unfamiliar with him here is a person who absolutely radiates satisfaction, kindness and deep happiness. This is in spite of the fact that he is a leader of a nation in exile who have undergone brutal cultural genocide at the hands of the People’s Republic of China including torture, mass murder and attempts to undermine and eradicate the Tibetan Buddhist faith which the Dalai Lama is a senior figure in.  A key distinction he makes which I found to be very helpful in thinking about these issues is the distinction between Pleasure and Happiness.  Pleasure is the result of a state change: from sobriety to drunkenness, hunger to satiety, arousal to orgasm, feeling un-appreciated to feeling admired, and so on.  We experience a momentary burst of pleasure which can be pretty awesome. What tells us that these things are not intrinsic sources of happiness is that we cannot continue to experience them indefinitely. Drink too much and throw up, smoke too much pot and get nervous and paranoid, eat too much and get a stomach ache, receive so much fan adulation that you can’t walk down the street and consequently feel isolated and lonely.  All of these, while resulting in transitional pleasures which feel great when they happen, do not satisfy our inner desires for things like meaning in life, a long term feeling of satisfaction or freedom from the roller coaster of egotism.

The Dalai Lama’s Tibetan Buddhist prescription for these things is instead of constantly looking at ourselves and trying to scratch our own itches for more fame, food, drugs or money to look outward and look at who we can help, how we can be more caring, how we can contribute to others happiness and lessen their suffering. In a word: compassion.  If you’ve ever experimented with compassion you’ll find that it provides a much less fleeting and much longer lasting feeling of happiness, even if sometimes in the immediate moment the act itself is not directly pleasurable. For me the major experience I’ve had in this department is being a father to two young boys. Even though at times it is not easy and can feel like a terrifying and overwhelming vortex of poopy diapers, extreme and prolonged sleep deprivation, yelling, crying and trips to the emergency room there is nothing I have done in my life which has given me more deep and lasting happiness. Counter-intuitive though it may seem the realest happiness I’ve found is in sacrifice, giving freely of myself and serving others. It doesn’t fluctuate, increase or decrease based on external factors or go away when I scratch the itch. In fact, the more I scratch the more it deepens, expands and the richer and more satisfying it becomes.

I am not holding myself up as an example here for admiration. Loving your children is a bare minimum necessary act for any human being. In order to feel like I’m actually doing something that is a net gain for humanity and to deepen my compassionate practice I need, and plan, to do more than that. I’m only speaking from my own, limited direct experience to convey my point.  It’s possible to be happy, but it doesn’t come from consuming anything or from stroking the ego.

cross-posted from my personal blog at mattshadetek.com

Click here to view the embedded video.

Image and quote from akhilak.com (and actually it’s a pretty good post about a similar subject, conquering fear)
“I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear. ~ Nelson Mandela”

The title of this post is more of a challenge for myself since I feel I’ve been slipping in this department.  In the years when I moved to Europe, became active in the Grime scene and was solely dependent on performance income I think I lived this a lot more. I remember being constantly stressed, at some points severely so, but also excited and exhilarated. Somehow I was constantly taking action which brought me closer to the things I wanted and my goals. I remember realizing during that time that this stressed, excited feeling was the feeling of being outside my comfort zone. Think about it: if you’re outside of your comfort zone you’re doing something challenging, something where you’re risking failure. You’re stretching yourself and growing as a person. When you’re in your comfort zone things feel familiar, easy, you feel confident and sure of yourself. Comfortable. These seem like good feelings right? Except what’s happening to you is you’re stagnating. You’re sitting still. You’re like the kid who will never take the training wheels off the bike. It’s fun riding a bike with training wheels, you won’t fall and hurt yourself and it’s not frightening because you’re confident you can do it. But the feeling that you get when you pull them off, wipe out a few times but THEN get it and take off, is incredible. It feels like flying.

I feel in my life lately I’ve been regressing, embracing things I know I can do and failing to challenge myself. I’ve got lots of excuses for that but fundamentally I know what I’m guilty of. My new challenge to myself is to try harder, demand more of myself and take some risks. Just typing that makes me feel anxious, which is how I can tell that I’m aiming in the right direction.

Here’s my personal schedule this week. Come say hi if you’re around!

Thursday 3.17
Friends of Friends Showcase
Set time 6:30-7PM (event 2-8PM)
Barcelona 209 E. 6th St

Friday 3.18
Dutty Artz Official Showcase
Flamingo Cantina
515 E. 6th St
Free With Wristband

Saturday 3.19
Dubspot DJ Invasion
Event time 1PM SXSW Gear Alley
Note: very short set as part of a technology showcase

Sunday 3.20
Dubspot Austin BBQ Benefit
Franklin Barbecue, 900 E. 11th

My friend Corey Maass aka Secret Agent Gel of the Noteworking meetup (formerly known as Netmix) just posted these 2 videos of my talk there last Tuesday.  I had fun giving the talk, kind of swerved around my subject a little bit and made a few weird analogies, but HEY it\’s all part of talking live without a script.  For those who\’ve read this blog you\’ll recognize a lot of the ideas but now you get to hear me say them instead of reading them.  I talked a bit about creative process in general, some of it directly related to music production and some stuff related to being an artist more generally.  Check them out and let me know what you think!

Part 1:

Click here to view the embedded video.

Part 2:

Click here to view the embedded video.

And also Ricardo Moncada of Halcyon gave a cool talk about web technology and social media for creative businesses, check it out over at the Noteworking site.

Blak Ryno – Nuh Tek Talk (Matt Shadetek Dutty House Rmx) by mattshadetek

My new EP entitled ‘DUTTY HOUSE’ will be out as an early exclusive Dec. 7th on Juno and everywhere Dec. 14th on Dutty Artz. In advance of it I’m giving away this remix I did of Blak Ryno’s ‘Nuh Tek Talk’. The original is on Chimney Records’ Death Row Riddim. Blak Ryno is an exciting new Dancehall artist who came up as part of Vybz Kartel’s Portmore Empire / Gaza movement. He uses a lot of interesting eastern sounding melodies in his singing which sets him apart from the new crop of Dancehall artists coming out to my ears. The original was 120bpm which is a little slower than I’ve been playing lately so I decided to speed it up to 128bpm and add some grimey house beats. I didn’t have an acapella so I actually just took the whole tune and EQd out the bass, adding my own drum and bass parts making it more like a mashup than a true remix. I’ve been playing it for a bit and thought it’d be appropriate to share it in advance of my new EP dropping on Dutty Artz. It’s my first time in a while busting out my distorted kicks and badman lyrics vibe in a while, so fans of Brooklyn Anthem may be pleased.

Dutty House Cover Art, designed by me

Blak Ryno Artist page:
http://www.myspace.com/rynodgreat

Chimney Records Label Page:
http://www.facebook.com/pages/Chimney-Records/

Click the image to watch the interview, in Portuguese.

Some nice people from the NY branch of Globo TV came out to Brooklyn to meet me, Jahdan and the rest of the Dutty Artz crew at our friend Fuego Campo from Noble Society’s place. They had me make a beat on camera which I was a little nervous about but actually ended up coming out OK, you can hear it in the video. Apparently Globo is a big national station down there. If you speak Portuguese or are in Brazil and saw it let me know! I have no idea what I was saying, but I did make some funny faces and apparently said something about ‘the 90′s’. Hmmmm. Shout out to Geko Jones for making it happen.

New track by me out now on the New York Tropical compilation on Dutty Artz entitled ‘This is Love’, up on my Soundcloud for your listening pleasure. It’s me stretching out into a longer format which I don’t often do including time changes, chord changes and more song writing stuff that I’m trying to challenge myself to do more in my tracks. Listen and let me know what you think and if you enjoy what we do at Dutty Artz, support us by clicking some of your dollars through to us in exchange for the files.

This is Love by mattshadetek

INFO FROM DUTTY ARTZ:

After almost a year of work, New York Tropical is finally hitting digital shops today, and we couldn’t be more excited about it. 12 dope tracks, almost all unreleased, and styles from Funky to Cumbia with a little bit of ambient/Rupture in between for the subway ride home. If you didn’t already pick up the ringtone (.mp3 and iphone compatible) edit of the album- grab it- I highly recommend DJ Orion’s Undertow Inst for early morning wake ups. Expect a few tracks to start leaking out into the internet and a new mix from me next week.

Until then, grab a copy

itunes, boomkat, amazon, turntable lab, etc

1. Knight Magic – El Baile de la Cumbia
2. Rita Indiana – Los Poderes (Kingdom remix)
3. Matt Shadetek & Lamin Fofana – Sunshine City
4. La Ola Criminal – Sin Gas
5. Maga Bo – Analys D’Amour (instrumental)
6. DJ /rupture & Matt Shadetek – Sunset B35
7. DJ Orion – The Undertow (instrumental)
8. KG – I’m Feeling Funky
9. Nguzunguzu – El Bebe Ambiente (new mix + master)
10. DJ /rupture, Matt Shadetek, & Chief Boima – Elegy for Mr Peach (Rupture mix)
11. Lido Pimienta – La Minga (Sonora remix)
12. Matt Shadetek – This Is Love

P.S. You can receive info like this and other exciting DA news irregularly in your inbox by signing up for the DA mailer on the upper right of your screen. Check the rest of the news from this months mailer here.

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Surkit – Reel by Real

I love this tune. I originally became acquainted with this because of LTJ Bukem’s giant sample of it in his jungle tune Atlantis. Which is also great. We’re having a little Friday evening 90s dance music throwdown at the dubspot office and I pulled it out, figured I would share it with you guys. The little intro synth riff on this is one of my favorite of all time

Click here to view the embedded video.

LTJ Bukem – Atlantis

Between a head cold rampaging through my family and a whole lot of other real life stuff I’ve been feeling pretty uninspired to create music lately. After some early experiments with trying to make a track every day one summer in college I’ve learned that trying to squeeze the sponge when I’m not feeling it will only result in frustration and not-fun-ness. There’s a fine line between the discipline of showing up and making stuff and forcing yourself to make stuff when you’re not feeling it. Usually during these musically slow periods I tend to turn my attention to other stuff and try to teach myself new things. Lately it’s been learning marketing and studying the art of making computer games. I think the whole computer game / interactive art space is under-served by a lot of the aesethetically crappy stuff that gets done with some pretty cool technology. I see a lot of artistic potential there that remains untapped.

Click here to view the embedded video.

Listen to Photek – The Third Sequence

One game that made a big impact on me was the original WipeOut for Playstation. Not only was it a great and fun game but they took a few extra steps aesthetically in licensing a great soundtrack of known dance music artists, including the Photek track above, which I still love, and also hiring top-notch design firm The Designer’s Republic to design all the menus, iconography and in game advertisements. Admittedly the stuff looks a bit dated now but in 1995 this was some futuristic shit. TDR was also the in-house designer for Warp records who I later became a huge fan of and even later was proud to release a record with (Burnerism by Team Shadetek).

Logos for imaginary corporations featured in the game designed by The Designer’s Republic

The revelation at the time for me was that it was possible to combine interesting visual and sound aesthetics with a cool game experience. I’ve been thinking about this stuff a lot lately. I’ve been researching the game technology that’s out there that could enable you to do interesting stuff with sound. There are a few interesting things, including unity3d which I’ve been studying a bit. It includes supprt for .MOD files, the tracker format which is pretty interesting. I used to spend a lot of time thinking about generative sound and music and taught myself Max/MSP to do it, which I haven’t used in a while but the idea of creating generative musical environments is something which still appeals to me a lot. I find myself circling through these areas in my life: music, film making, programming, games, stories and each time I return to an area and learn more I see new possibilities. This has lead me to think that rather than purely making circles from one topic to another that I’m spiraling in on some big project that will eventually use all these ideas and skills that I’ve been learning. I’ll let you know how that goes.

How about you? I know the readership of the blog is mostly music people. Anyone else interested in games or interactive sound art?